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Coming Home

Charlotte started school the last week of January and she will be ending the last week of March. It was a very tough time in our lives when she went in. I was just floored by how often both children needed me at the same time and how heartbreaking it was to have to choose one to help. I am sure now, I had some postpartum depression floating in the atmosphere there for a while. We thought school would give Charlotte a good feeling of fun and friends to play with. But she just seemed to miss home and I missed her. This month we scaled back from 3pm to noon and it has been lovely to have my little one at home to share lunch with. But honestly, it wasn’t enough.

She’s been coming home sad from school, even acting up the moment she emerges from the playground. She had a spring break and truly didn’t miss it. And today, another kid hurt her. (She’s been talking about pushing and kicking since she started there.) Above all else, she seems to be hurting right now. She’s acting out in the saddest ways and her tears flow so freely these days. I don’t know if it’s school or her grandma moving to California or the new baby or a combination of all three, but I think she is too young to be gone half the day and she is at an age where school is 100% optional. So my beautiful, intelligent and achy baby is coming home.

Home is, or should be, a refuge for all of us. It isn’t necessarily linked to place.  Home is a sense of belonging, being loved and feeling safe. She will be home, every day, for me wrap my arms around her and remind her of how much we love her and how she matters so much to our day. We will make breakfast that we both can enjoy and she will take part in making our home clean and beautiful. She already takes her role as a big sister seriously, and I will give her as much freedom to assist as possible. I am so happy I can be here for her while she is feeling so blue and seemingly confused by these emotions. Soon she will be at school all day and her troubles will kept inside so much more.  For this small moment, I can share her troubles and help her re-discover more of her joy.

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4 thoughts on “Coming Home

  1. Clementine is so extroverted, it is kind of weird. She is almost fearless in approaching people – she will talk to anyone and hug anyone. She started school at 3.5 and pretty much has never had a sad moment. She loves it fully and completely. I could send her there all day every day and she would be happy as a clam. Having said that, school would not have worked for her when she was 2. She was not ready to be away from me, she had periods of pretty extreme shyness, and she frequently seemed anxious. Part of that was that she was sick a lot that year (she was in the hospital several times with respiratory issues) but part of it was she just wasn’t “there” yet. Maybe Charlotte’s not ready for school yet, but if you find yourself needing a break (and who doesn’t) swap childcare with another mom or hire some sweet teenage girl to come over and play with the kids while you get things done or take a nap. I think I’ve hired more babysitters to come over while I am in the house than when I’ve gone out!

    • Amen sister. Thank you for the very good advice. It’s nice to hear your awesome daughter had her moments of shyness too. I’m so happy to have her back with me.

  2. We started Vivi at 2.4 months mostly because I was pregnant with Cece and knew that she would need something structured when the baby came and I would need a little help. She started at 3 half days for the first year and the first 2 weeks were super hard then a little less so after that. Now in her second year, she finally seems to really want to go to school however, I am changing her school next year as they require all kids in their last year of preschool to go 5 days a week and I can’t help but feel sad that I would lose so much time with my little big one. That being said, I think she really would have excelled more at transitioning into school if she was closer to 3 than 2. Also, just as a side note, Vivi’s behavior was really different for the first 4-6 months of Cece’s life and it was really an emotional time for both of us. I felt so guilty for not being able to be there all the time at every second for her in the way she was used to and she turned more towards her dad (which was good but hard in a way for me if we are honest) and Vivi had a lot more tantrums. Things started to even out as Cece became more independent and I started to carve out Cece nap times as Vivi time. Also, man, I wish you guys were closer.

    • We so wish we could see you guys! We hope and pray to make it to LA soon-ish. We will certainly keep you posted. Austin is also fabulous! Come for a family vacay! I’m happy to have Char at home and I think you’re right that 3 may be a much better time for her than 2, but honestly, we’re in no hurry 😉 Thank you a million times for all of your encouragement and kindness.

      Love,

      V

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